Brunch

It's late Sunday morning and people on the street are popping in and out of stores, seeking shade from the glaring sun reflecting off the pavement on this scorching June day. Naomi checks her watch, realizing she is supposed to be at the restaurant now, she picks up her pace, rushing through the streets and dodging cars, adding to the bustle and liveliness that is New York City. She thinks about how she is going to tell the girls; she attempts to predict their reactions so that she can generate appropriate responses ahead of time. What if they condemn me, reject me, dismiss me, she thinks, I can't get through this without the support of my friends.  Is it wrong of me to not want to bring a child into this cruel world that’s controlled by the media and configured so that women fail?  She realizes she has gotten distracted and taken a wrong turn; she is now ten minutes late.

Where is Naomi, Offred thinks, she is usually on time, a quality Offred appreciates about her.  Time is the only thing that remains constant, no matter where you are there is a when; time, day, month, year, one of the few things she understands.  There's so much to learn, but I'll never know it all; the idea of infinite knowledge intimidates Offred. I would like to be ignorant, she thinks, then I would not know how ignorant I was. She looks away from her menu and back at the other women. Jasmine is whispering something to Eve that Offred doesn't catch. Just add that to the list of things I will never know, she thinks.

Naomi enters the restaurant and all the women stand up to greet her, embracing her, all smiles and warmth, she cherishes the moment believing that it won't last long. She goes over the script in her head that she prepared on her walk here; It's my choice and I don't need your criticism, all I'm asking is for your support. Stay strong, she tells herself, as long as you're happy that's all that matters. Like a car running a red light, she speeds through her story, leaving out details and avoiding eye contact. When she finishes she looks up at all the blank stares, uncomfortable with all the attention on her she attempts to change the subject. "Wait," Jasmine says. Here it comes, Naomi thinks.

"I don't judge you at all," Eve jumps in, "In fact I commend you for taking control over your own body." How can Eve say that, Jasmine thinks, it's not her choice to take control over, it's someone else's life, a precious life, a beautiful life, God's creation. She thinks back to the day her husband died, I am screaming.  My hands touch a red wet cheek, my eyes are closed. She can sense Naomi waiting for her response, but she doesn't know how to express what she's feeling. How can Naomi understand death if she's never lost someone that she loved; She would have loved that child. It's not fair for me to burden Naomi with my pain, she thinks, I had a past that I was still fleeing. Perhaps still am. "As long as you're happy," Jasmine says, "I support you." Offred is silent. 

*Everything in italics is taken from either Jasmine or The Handmaid's Tale

Explanation: 

I wrote this short piece on abortion because it is a topic that we never had the chance to discuss during this course due to its delicate nature and the intense debate surrounding it. In writing this, I tried to imagine which side of the debate each of the fictional characters and actual authors would support. I think Naomi Wolf would not necessarily be against abortion because she believes in women having control over their lives and bodies, similarly to Eve Ensler. Wolf is opposed to the beauty myth influencing women to harm their bodies. She says, "Women have learned to submit to pain by hearing authority figures - doctors, priests, psychiatrists - tell us that what we feel is not pain" (254). I think if having a child would hurt a woman mentally or physically, then Wolf would support the decision of that female to free herself from such pain. I think Eve Ensler would also understand  the decision to have an abortion since she has connected with many women who have experienced the atrocity of rape. I think Offred would not allow herself to have an opinion on the matter because she knows that she has been ingrained with information about the importance of giving birth, to the extent where her point of view is unwillingly distorted. Jasmine on the other hand, I imagine would be opposed to the concept of abortion. Although the death of her beloved husband nearly drove her to suicide, I think she eventually acknowledged the gift of life and all the beauty it has to offer.

The Other Woman

I recently watched a video on MSNBC titled "The Fascinating First Ladies of France." To my surprise, the video compared the appearances of Carla Bruni (the former first lady of France) with those of Valerie Trierweiler (the new first lady of France). It analyzed their career choices only when they involved acting or modeling. There was a link to an article attached to the video that examined and scrutinized the outfits each of the women wore to particular events. It all reminded me of the "who wore it best" section in US Weekly magazine (in which two men are never compared). Women are constantly being played against each other in this "patriarchal culture" Eve Ensler talks about in The Vagina Monologues (53). She recommends that "pussys unite," however, this seems almost impossible when women are encouraged to be averse to "the other woman" (53). 


In our society many women are substantiated by men. Men tend to evaluate them on a superficial level, only taking into consideration physical characteristics. Naomi Wolf says, “The beauty myth sets it up this way: A high rating as an art object is the most valuable tribute a woman can exact from her lover" (171). As objects it is very easy for people to pit women against each other. This is why there tends to be an obscure hatred for "the other woman." I constantly hear young girls saying they wish they had this person's body or hair like that person. It is unfeasible for women to unite if there is this lingering jealousy amongst them. 


In order for women to succeed in this patriarchal culture, it is imperative that women stop being objectified. As soon as women are valued for their character over their appearances, they will no longer be comparable. I do however, think both sexes are responsible for this objectification. Women compare other women because they are insecure. Picking apart someone else tends to be easier than assessing your own flaws. Women also thrive on such competition: the winner is validated and her confidence is reassured. Women need to learn to identify with their personalities rather than relying on their looks. Men also need to stop 
validating themselves based on how good looking the woman they are with is.


http://worldnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/05/16/11727831-oh-la-la-a-look-at-frances-fascinating-first-ladies?lite

Grandmother Interview

A while ago I spoke to my Grandmother about what it was like for her growing up in the 1930's - 40's. She couldn't stress enough that marriage was always her ultimate goal. Education and a career were trivial matters. This mentality clearly carries through to the 50's: In The Hours, one of the plots is set in the 50's and the character Laura stays home and is expected to perform tasks designated to the female sphere such as taking care of the children, cooking and cleaning. However, this particular division of roles leaves women financially dependent on men. In A Vindication of the Rights of Woman, Mary Wollstonecraft highlights the potential issues surrounding this situation. She postulates that if a woman is "trained up to obedience" and her husband dies then "a double duty devolves on her; to educate [her children] in the character of both father and mother; to form their principles and secure their property. But, alas! she has never thought, much less acted for herself. She has only learned to please men, to depend gracefully on them" (51-52). What is interesting is that my grandmother's mother did not have a good relationship with her husband. Unfortunately, she was compelled to stay with him for financial purposes. I would think if my grandmother witnessed that, she would try to not end up in a similar position. I think in the Western world an education and career are encouraged for females, but I still know many women who depend fully on their husbands for economic support.

My grandmother also made it clear that she never discussed anything related to sex with her friends or family. Those things were unspoken of. I think that is one area where our society hasn't made much progress. Eve Ensler gives us an example of people being afraid to say sexual words when she says, "Women call up for tickets to the "Monologues...The punk ticket seller tells women that if they can't say it, they can't come" (xxx). Just the other day my mom saw my book downstairs and asked if I needed to bring the "Monologues" to school with me. It is clear that even in the 21st century women feel uncomfortable using the term vagina. I don't understand how sex can be so prevalent in our society, where it is portrayed in ads and all over the television, yet people still can't talk about it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwJMLoeDQiE

Twitter pt 2

In my previous post I discussed twitter accounts encouraging women to be thin. However, twitter targets not only women's weight, but also their life styles. Particular accounts like @ToMyFutureHusband and @TrophyTrainee promote dependency on men. Tweets such as, "#ToMyFutureHusband I can't wait to be all yours <3" advocate for a woman to "submit, right or wrong, to power" (51). Mary Wollstonecraft, in  A Vindication of the Rights of Woman, identifies the troubles that emanate from this situation. "...If woman be educated for dependence...where are we to stop?" she says (51). 


TrophyTrainee tweets, "When people tell me to make them a sandwich I'm instantly offended. Why settler for a sandwich when I can make a million better things?" People then tweet at TrophyTrainee with photos of baked goods and descriptions reading "I'm going to make a great wife!" This assumes that the prerequisite for a healthy relationship depends on the quality of food one is able to produce for their partner (typically a woman for a man). Wollstonecraft acknowledges the ignorance of this statement when she writes, "...Being only taught to please must still find her happiness in pleasing; what an example of folly" (52).


I consistently see girls at our school retweeting these quotes because they think it makes them seem appealing to men. Sadly, as early as the 1800's, the "cult of domesticity" has deemed the home as a female's sphere. Images from the mid 20th century portray women in the kitchen. Men then consider "homemaker" to be a redeeming and attractive quality in females. 

As mentioned in The Beauty Myth, domestic housework goes generally unnoticed without pay. If women do not have a salary earning career outside the home, they become completely reliant on their husbands for income. Wollstonecraft considers the problems that arise when a woman is widowed (or more contemporary: divorced). 

She hypothesises the scenario of a woman post loss saying, "She has never thought, much less acted for herself. She has only learned to please men, to depend gracefully on them; yet, encumbered with children, how is she to obtain another protector?" (52).

Our family friends recently got divorced. The father provided the primary source of income and as a result, the mother had a more difficult time the the divorce. Emotionally, she was ready to detach from him after he cheated on her, but financially she was dependent on him. Whether she wants to or not, she has to maintain a civil relationship with him in order to send her children to college.

As a female, being dependent on a man is not an ideal situation. Wollstonecraft stresses, "Man and woman were made for each other, though not to become one being" (109). People need to be able to make choices for themselves and think for themselves; both of which are impossible if you are dependent on someone else.


http://fiveaspects.com/blog/whats-in-a-name/

Twitter

Twitter in the past couple years has become a mainstream social media website. It is largely made fun of for the meaningless constant updates one receives. People always say "I don't care what this person had for lunch" or "how this person feels about their break-up." It is true that most people don't care about "this person" but the majority of people do care about what celebrities have to say. Twitter gives celebrities an opportunity to shed their divine status and inform the world about their flaws.  They use twitter to connect with their fan base and sharing their problems makes them seem relatable. Kim Kardashian, who has over 14 million followers, recently tweeted "Decided to not eat the cake! This pic put me in check ! LOL" and then attached this photo: 

https://twitter.com/#!/KimKardashian

Without realising it, Kim is a sending a message that Wolf summarises as, "Women's self-denial where food is concerned is represented today as good for her mate and even better for herself" (200). Later Kim tweeted "Up early gonna hit the gym!!!" This is only one of many enthusiastic work out tweets, making 14.5 million people feel like they should be exercising if they want to look and be loved like Kim Kardashian. Popular culture revolves around celebrities and I agree with Wolf when she says, 

"The larger world never gives girls the message theta their bodies are valuable simply because they are inside them. Until our culture tells young girls that they are welcome in any shape - that women are valuable to it with or without the excuse of "beauty" - girls will continue to starve" (205)

There are other twitter accounts that make women feel like their beauty is everything. For example Mens Humor is followed by 1.7 million people. The account recently posted, "Big Sunglasses: An ugly chick's best friend." This is suggesting that women who are ugly should go into hiding. These feelings can be connected with eating disorders, where women physically want their hated bodies to disappear. Men are comfortable joking about eating because dieting and thinnes is not encouraged among them. Mens Humour tweeted, "If You Choose a Salad Over a Steak, Membership Lost" (membership referring to the one's man card). Picking a salad over a steak is a choice that majority of women on diets have to make. Wolf says, "On any day, 25 percent of women are on diets, with 50 percent finishing, breaking, or starting one" (185). Because this choice is so closely tied with the female majority, it is perceived as feminine and frowned upon for men. Consistently choosing a salad over a steak can lead to malnutrition, and weakness and men are pushed to be the antithesis of weak. I hope that one day women too can be valued for strength rather than frailty. Unfortunately however, as more mediums for sharing information are developed, popular culture will continue to shape the public's view on body image.

Mission Impossible (pt 2)

What is so interesting about advertisements today is that nothing is a secret. Women know that photoshop is a customary procedure and commercials are digitally enhanced to make the product appear superior. Yet we still have a difficult time accepting that we will never look like the models on the billboards or have hair as silky as it is in the commercials. We should not however, blame ourselves for this false sense of hope. Particular images are ingrained into our brains, whether we want them to be or not. Specifically regarding beauty, we become accustomed to the images we see frequently. When we are exposed to something a lot, it is possible that we will take a liking to it. For example, when a popular song is playing on the radio all the time, we eventually find ourselves singing along. Despite knowing that these images aren't real, we see them all the time, and subconsciously acquire a taste for this them. Women want to be appreciated for their looks and society appreciates these images. Therefore, women continue to buy products that promise beauty and perfection, allowing the advertising companies to win.

Some companies have taken action against making women feel this way. For example, the movie referenced that back in 2006 Dove did a campaign for real beauty. It revealed to the public just how distorted images our. The original model whose photograph was taken, was virtually unrecognizable in the final advertisement. This campaign was a success, proving that women are more than ready to get rid of the artificial beauty ideals. Some other companies have recognized this, and either stopped using emaciated models or actually edited photos to make them appear larger. An article in the Guardian discusses the reaction to a nude photo of a plus size model in Glamour Magazine. "The overwhelming reaction to the tiny photograph, buried on page 194 of Glamour magazine 'shows that the world is hungry to see pictures of normal women.'" However, these photos of real women will have trouble competing with the glossy airbrushed pictures and it will take more than one company changing in order to reshape society's perspective on beauty. 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/sep/02/lizzie-miller-model-fat

Mission Impossible

I thought Jean Kilbourne's documentary was an accurate analysis of how advertisements affect the public. Her research was more focused on women, because women tend to be targeted and more affected by ads than men. Wolf stresses that products sell "by making women feel as guilty as possible" (96). Ads make women they aren't good enough and give them something to strive for by promoting perfection.



Women are expected to be the impossible:

• Emaciated models covering billboards are telling women to be a size zero, while Victoria's Secret campaigns tell women they should have D cups. As Kilbourne says, these two body types are incompatible. A 5'10" woman weighing 100 pounds is not going to have a curvaceous figure. Because it is not natural, women are turing to plastic surgery to achieve this "ideal look." Kilbourne stresses that the majority of models with large busts have had plastic surgery.  
• Photoshop is the more popular way to enhance images. Supposedly "flawless" models are edited to give them longer legs, smaller torsos, bigger breasts, and spotless skin. These images are then plastered on billboards, setting the standard for beauty. Real women are encouraged to look like artificial computer generated images, which is clearly an unrealistic aspiration.
• Constant weight loss ads are telling women to stay thin because fat is unattractive. Women are made to feel guilty about indulging in food. Wolf discusses a woman's options by saying, "women make the same distinction today, between eating to sustain life, and eating for pleasure" (98). However, at the same time as eating is discouraged, food ads have become more and more enticing. Society in part with the media is teasing women, as though they want to see women fail. 
• All kinds of advertisements have women in suggestive poses, while promoting virginity. The ad below is one of the images shown in the movie. How is a woman expected to be innocent and sexy at the same time? Not only are these ads infantilizing women, but they are also telling women to exhibit contradicting mannerisms at the same time.

http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/tag/perfumecologne/

• Wolf highlights another impossible challenge for women: dressing for work. Wolf says, "the beauty myth blocks each path so that no woman can 'look right'' (38). She goes on to give examples of court cases where women were scrutinized for being too ugly and not feminine enough and criticized for being too pretty and too feminine. When it comes to dressing and presenting oneself in a work environment, women cannot win. There is a 100% chance that women will be wrong.