Toxic Relationships

This week I read multiple texts focused on toxic relationships between men and women.  To start - the men were always abusive towards the women. Whether it was blatant physical abuse or subtle oppression of their wives, the men never stopped to reflect on their detrimental behavior. In "A Jury of Her Peers" the main character, Ms. Wright, is being held for supposedly murdering her husband. Based on the evidence, I gathered that Ms. Wright was maltreated during her many years of marriage. Her husband took away from her everything that made her happy. I think it is reasonable to say that her husband "killed" her, before she actually killed him. My class started to debate whether or not the male investigators would pardon Ms. Wright if they understood the relationship she and her husband had. It got me thinking about whether or not ongoing mistreatment justifies murder. There are constantly stories in the news about abused women who are driven to hurt their husbands. I was curious as to whether or not they are found guilty in court. It turns out that "Battered person syndrome" is considered a valid testimony in court that is mainly used by women (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battered_woman_defense). Whether or not the claim will protect you - depends on how severe the case. In one particular case that I researched, a wife shot her tyrannical husband 11 times and was found not guilty of murder. I think it is better to try and get out of the marriage than stay around and stifle feelings that could eventually drive you to commit murder. I think the reason the main character Delia in "Sweat" doesn't blatantly murder her husband is because she tends to stand up to him. For example on page 19 she scolds him saying, "'Sykes, you quit grindin' dirt into these clothes!'" I think these small blows prevent Delia from bottling up all her anger and eventually exploding like Ms. Wright did. An interesting type of abuse that never really occurred to me, was men infantilizing women. This type of oppressive behavior is apparent in "The Yellow Wallpaper." The narrator's husband John calls his wife "blessed little goose," an endearing term that someone would usually say to their child or pet. I think John treats a grown woman like an infant because it gives him a sense of control over his wife. Later on page 30 he says "'What is it, little girl? Don't go walking about like that -- you'll get cold.'" His authority over her eventually drives her to insanity. In any situation it is easier to deny that something is wrong, but I think these types of toxic relationships stem from the women resisting to face their problems head on.